Co-parenting with a Narcissist Ex

How to Survive & Overcome Co-Parenting with a Narcissist 

The short answer is, there is no co-parenting with a narcissist as it is impossible to work together as a team when your dealing with a narcissist co-parent.  A narcissistic co-parent’s goal is to create conflict and turmoil which means they are fundamentally unable to put their children first and are therefore make impossible co-parents.

Having a lawyer who recognises and understands your co-parent’s narcissistic behaviors can make the difference between having to deal with those destructive behaviors on your own and having a strong legal strategy that exposes their façade so that there is zero room for manipulation.

Laura Allan of Nasser Allan has extensive experience helping clients navigate difficult co-parenting situations, including recognising and exposing narcissistic co-parents. Contact Laura today at lallan@nasserallan.ca to get the help you need dealing with your narcissistic co-parent.

Is your Co-Parent a Narcissist?

If you are trying to co-parenting with a narcissistic ex, their negative actions and responses can single-handedly create enormous conflict and turmoil. Understanding that you are dealing with a narcissist can make the process easier.

According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders , narcissism is “a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration and lack of empathy and it can present in various ways, including:

  • Having a grandiose sense of self-importance
  • Fixation on fantasises of power, attractiveness, unlimited success
  • Believing he or she is “special” and can only be understood by other “special” people
  • Requires excessive admiration
  • Pompous and arrogant demeanor
  • Intense envy of others
  • Has a sense of entitlement, like unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
  • Willing to exploit others to achieve his or her own ends
  • Lacks empathy and is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
  • Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
  • Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

FAMILY LAW LAWYERS EXPERIENCED WITH NARCISSISTIC CO-PARENTS

If you are convinced your dealing with a narcissistic co-parent, the best thing you can do is seek experienced legal advice from a top family law lawyer capable of exposing this destructive personality type.  Laura Allan of Nasser Allan can help you identify and put an end to your narcissistic co-parents antics.

Laura will help you formulate a clear legal strategy that not only protects you from managing the emotional effects of narcissistic tactics, but also exposes this manipulative behavior in a way that does not damage your credibility. Narcissistic co-parents are often very charming and able to distort the reality of a situation so that it looks like the other parent is to blame. Laura can help you establish a clear legal strategy that exposes the unhealthy and destructive behaviors of a narcissist co-parent.

Strategies To Win Against a Narcissistic Co-Parent

Our experienced family law lawyers can help you strategize to deal with your narcissistic co-parent during divorce and separation so that their gaslighting tactics aren’t used against you.  While there might not be one way to deal with this behavior, there are things that you can do to turn the tables on a narcissistic co-parent, including:

  • Document everything: Think like a lawyer. A good lawyer writes everything down. Why? Because then there is a record of everything that was said and done. A narcissistic wants to turn things on you. Documents speak for themselves and can avoid a he said / she said situation.
  • Do not negotiate or mediate with a narcissistic co-parent: High-conflict people love any opportunity to fuel a psychological battle which in turn keeps you entrenched in the dysfunctional relationship. Trying to negotiate with a narcissistic co-parent is just giving them more opportunities to play out their endless manipulation tactics. Narcissist do not want to cooperate; they want to win at all costs. You are better off taking your case to court with an experienced family law lawyer capable of exposing their gas-lighting tactics.
  • Consider a Section 211 Report: The characteristics of a narcissist are not always black and white; many people can present with narcissistic tendencies to one degree or another without being a pathological narcissist. A Section 211 Report, discussed here, can be one way of establishing whether you are dealing with a narcissistic co-parent or not. If your spouse is identified as a narcissistic, a court will likely listen. A 211 report is often referred to as “the eyes and ears of the court”.
  • Minimize contact with your Narcissist co-parent: Having minimal interaction with your narcissist co-parent is the best way to protect yourself and your sanity. When you have children, it’s not an option to simply block the other spouse. Establishing a comprehensive parenting plan which limits the need for any contact with your narcissist co-parent can provide a safe buffer to their endless manipulation tactics. A comprehensive parenting plan outlines the, guidelines and protocols to be followed in relation to your children.
  • Set Boundaries for Communication: Your narcissistic ex thrives on keeping you engaged and eliciting an emotional response from you. Do not let them have this satisfaction, stick to your boundaries. Utilizing parenting apps such as Our Family Wizard or Coparently can help assist in keeping the communication with a narcissistic co-parent short, business-like and boring.   The more boring your communication is, the more likely a narcissistic co-parent will look elsewhere to feed their need for constant conflict.
  • Do not React to Your Narcissistic Co-Parent: Controlling your reactions will be critical if you are facing a custody battle with a narcissistic co-parent. A narcissistic parent will often find ways to make their co-parent look bad – if you stay calm you can turn the tables as it will frustrate a narcissistic co-parent whenever you resist their trap.  You need to remember, their goal is to make you look like the bad parent if you don’t give them what they want then you can win the battle. Working with an experienced family law lawyer can help you expose this behavior establish the protocols and procedures you need to protect yourself and your children from unnecessary battles.

CONTACT OUR EXPERIENCED FAMILY LAW LAWYERS TODAY


If you are having difficulties co-parenting with your narcissistic co-parent, be sure to speak with an experienced family law lawyer capable of recognizing this unhealthy and destructive behavior early on.
Contact Laura Allan at Nasser Allan today at lallan@nasserallan.ca to discuss legal strategies to exposing their destructive behavior so you can move on with your life.

Send us mail